It has been a few months since my proclamation to take my life back. And, sadly, I thought that I would be updating that nothing has happened, that I had failed to make any changes of significance. Then, this morning at breakfast, my husband said something interesting. We went out to eat, and I was chatty with the host and the waitress. Nothing new to me, or so it seemed. My husband said I was very talkative today. I said, with a perplexed look, that I was always talkative. He said, “Yes, you were when we were dating, but for the last five or so years, not so much.” At first, I shook it off. He just wasn’t around me in a social setting very often. Then I wondered, had I already started my journey to find myself prior to my proclamation? I think I had. It is sad, though, that it took me months to notice the change.
About a year ago is when I decided to take the position of Secretary on my daughter’s school Foundation board. About a year ago is when I took the plunge and started speaking with the “PTA Moms.” You know the group; very cliquey, very “in”, very hard to ingratiate yourself with. It was slow and innocent in the beginning. I was only interested in volunteering to the best of my ability. I volunteered a few hours to help out with the Book Fair. I helped distribute cookie dough. Small steps. I had volunteered with the Foundation the previous year to help solicit donations for their annual auction fundraiser, then found myself helping with the organization of the event as well. I actually enjoyed doing it. It gave me a sense of pride, a sense of accomplishment. Me. Not Jack’s wife. Not Lizbeth’s mom. So, I decided to take a more active role this school year. When the Secretary position became available, I almost jumped at the chance to join the board. I say almost, because I did it very nonchalantly, as in “If no one else is interested, I suppose I could do it…” All the while praying no one else had shown an interest.
It has only been about eight months since I took the position, but if I look at my life now, there are definite changes. The biggest one being, I have friends. I went a long spell with only a friend or two (not counting family). I am very close to my mom and sister, but somehow that just isn’t enough. I slowly infiltrated the “PTA Moms.” I have had casual conversations about our kids, our husbands, our houses. I have had lunch dates. I have been invited to several parties. I have had Facebook friend requests. I know, sounds silly, but in today’s technology age, FB can be a huge validation. It allows you a glimpse into their private lives that you wouldn’t otherwise see. All in all, I am getting to know an amazing group of women. For some of them, their self-sacrifice is astounding. I feel honored to be part of this group.
And the story will continue….
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